I've missed blogging about the last 2 Oscars. The year before last, I was doing a turtle impression, and last year, I was still being a turtle, and suffering serious pain. This year, the turtle thing's receding, even if the pain isn't, and I am DETERMINED to blog about Oscar fashions.

There seem to be trends each year with fashions. Last year, for instance, was The Year of the Pastel Smudges, because just about everyone seemed to be wearing pastels. Unfortunately, this trend has continued this year. Along with the strapless dresses, which seem to me to be worn without enough in the way of accessories. Too many bare chests and dull ears; with an expanse of flesh, you need something to break it up. Especially if you aren't well endowed in the bust department, as most Hollywood women aren't. Some dresses tried to compensate with some pleating and bodice detail, and the results were somewhat hit and miss, I think.

( (In no particular order) )

I'm sitting here at home, not at work, because I have the runs. I will say no more, aside from feeling thoroughly miserable. However, I think the Imodium is finally working.

I feel the need to comment on some of the Oscar fashions. Some were good, many were ick.

This link will take you to the Official Oscars gallery, in case you want to see any of the gowns I'm commenting on.

But to begin, a couple of general comments.

First, to the ladies. Hollywood's obsession with thin has led to many women with tiny tits. So WHY do you insist on highlighting this lack of chest flesh by wearing low cut necks? Showing off chest only looks good if you have something to show. Or, if you must wear a low neck, wear a necklace to fill in the gap. Actually, on the subject of jewellery, understated little diamond stud ear-rings are SOOO boring. Be a bit adventurous! Please?

Second, to the men. I appreciate that the black tux and bowtie is standard men's evening wear. But, fellas, it's getting a bit dull. OK, a lot dull. Granted, George Clooney looks so hot I want to drag him into the nearest broom closet, but c'mon, what's wrong with, say, a different coloured jacket, or an interesting tie?! Why not take a leaf out of Will Smith's book?

( Warning: this is long, and may get catty. Screw that. IS catty. Why do you think I attached the Rant Icon? )

So, overall, I thought Reese Witherspoon looked the best, followed by Keira Knightley, and an honourable mention to Ziyi Zhang. Best of the men was Will Smith, followed by George Clooney (because he's George Clooney).

Tossup for the worst between Michelle Williams and Dolly Parton. Special dishonourable mention to the thing on Charlize Theron's shoulder.

This comes from the latest issue of Shop Til You Drop magazine (about clothes and makeup and girly stuff).

"I have a theory that the fashion industry is involved in some sort of international conspiracy. What happens is this: just when you and I figure out how to wear the current trend, designers create a different and completely irresistable look just tp pull the rug out from under us so we have to go and buy new clothes."

Well, DUH!

In other news, I finished the jigsaw with the reef scene last night. Yay. The last 3 pieces were really difficult because it turned out I'd misplaced a few pieces and had to work out where I'd gone wrong. The beach scene one is not getting unwrapped until my 2 short stories are finished.