This post was prompted by two things.

First, the news that two girls have been expelled from an exclusive school for cyber-bullying. This can't erase the damage their vicious attacks have caused, but good on the school for acting promptly. I certainly hope this follows those two preshus girls wherever they go.

Second, this post from the from the ever awesome naamah_darling, about the horrific damage verbal bullying can cause, and I back naamah up 110% when she says that telling a victim to turn the other cheek is probably the worst thing you can do.

For whatever reason it occurs, bullying is wrong. Maybe you're jealous that some girl has sprouted breasts before you have. Maybe you feel threatened by someone's intellect or sporting prowess. Maybe your parents are divorcing, or your dog just died, and you need to lash out. Maybe it's hormones. Maybe you're being bullied yourself. Whatever. Don't care. The minute you strike someone who's done nothing to you, whether physically or verbally, with the express intent to harm that person, you have become a stain on society. And if you're a victim of someone else's bullying, more shame on you.

I was a victim of bullying throughout most of my school life, to the point where I still have intimacy issues and allowing people to get close. To say nothing of still trying to sort out my self-image and ideas of my own attractiveness. I have fond daydreams of dipping parts of my tormentors into hot oil, and I've often shocked people by saying there's about 5 people of my school year (out of about 120) that I wouldn't waterboard given the opportunity. No, I'm not kidding when I say that. Nearly 20 years later, the wounds inflicted are still very, very raw.

Like Martin Luther King, I have a dream, born of the frustration and despair that comes from being singled out as "different" and treated badly. But unlike King, my dream is not uplifting and inspiring. I dream of a huge complex enclosed by barbed wire, out in the middle of the Simpson Desert, where it's always unbearably hot during the day and very cold at night. All the buildings are made of corrugated iron, there's no air conditioning, and very basic amenities. And anyone, any age, any gender, is sent to this place when they bully someone else, for whatever reason and for whatever cause. Whether it be schoolyard bullies. Whether it be abusive spouses or parents. Whether it be nasty bosses. Whether it be men who think they can touch up women whenever they please. They can get let out once they have learned not to bully anyone, ever. Or until they are destroyed by someone else's bullying.

At least bullying is becoming more of an issue these days. School boards are implementing anti-bullying programmes, if only to be seen to be doing something, and it's becoming a media issue. But still, when 11 year olds are driven to suicide and parents feel it necessary to take schools to court for failing to stop the problem, it's clear we have a very, very long way to go.

( Some thoughts from a survivor about how to cope. WARNING, some may find these measures extreme. )